ESSITAN : I EKKLAO NA BIHO AN MAMOKKAT

Si Doctor Jesus yan si Doctor Jose annai ma retira i dos humånao para i papa’ trongkon lemmai ya matå’chong i dos ya duro ma akompåra i tiningo’-ñiha pot i chetnot siha yan håfa na klåsen åmot para ma usa.

(When Doctor Jesus and Doctor Jose got off work they went under the breadfruit tree and the two sat down and they kept comparing their knowledge of diseases and what kind of medicine to use.)

Pues ma li’e’ este biho na mamomokkat ya kalan ume’ekklao an mamokkat.

(Then they saw an old man walking and he was walking somewhat crookedly.)

Ilek-ña si Doctor Jose gi as Doctor Jesus,  “I’ll bet you na ti un tungo’ håfa chetnot-ña ayo na biho mågi, i mamamaila’.” (1) (2)

(Doctor Jose said to Doctor Jesus, "I'll bet you you don't know what's that old man's disease who is coming.")

Ilek-ña si Doctor Jose, “Oh hunggan hu tungo’ håfa chetnot-ña ayo na biho.”

(Doctor Jose said, "Oh yes I know what is that old man's problem.")

“Na håfafa?”

("What is it?")

Ilek-ña, “Fana’an hemorrhoids ya eyo na mamokkat taiguiguihe sa’ puti santatte-ña.” (3)

(He said, "I think it's hemorrhoids and that's why he's walking that way because his back side hurts.")

Ilek-ña, “Ya hågo Doctor Jesus håfa mohon pot este na bihu ni mamamaila’?”

(He said, "And you Doctor Jesus what about this old man who is coming?")

Ilek-ña, “Oh arthritis eyo na biho. Puti i temmon-ña ya chatta mamomokkat mågi.” (4) (5)

(He said, "Oh that old man has arthritis. His knee hurts and he's walking here badly.")

Pues annai esta hihot i biho guato ilek-ña si Doctor Jose, “Saina-ho! Saina-ho!” (6)

(So when the old man was close there Doctor Jose said, "Sir! Sir!")

Ilek-ña eyi biho, “Håfa lahi-ho malago’-mo?”

(The old man said, "What do you want, my son?")

Ilek-ña, “Dos mediko ham yan pot i mamokkåkåt-mo na ume’ekklao mamokkåt-mo an tododo eyo. Ilek-ña este si Doctor Jesus ilek-ña na hemorrhoid hao. Guåho ilek-ho na arthritis hao.”

(He said, "We're two doctors and because your walking is crooked and all that, Doctor Jesus says that you have hemorrhoids. I say you have arthritis.")

Ilek-ña eyi biho, “Ai iho! Man cha lache hit na tres!” 

(The old man said, "Oh son! The three of us are equally wrong!")

Ilek-ña si Doctor Jose, “Sa’ håfa ennao saina-ho?”

(Doctor Jose said, "Why do you say that sir?")

Ilek-ña, “Sa’ pine’lo-ko na para bai do’do’ ya hu tåtke yo’.”

(He said, "Because I thought I was going to fart and I went to the bathroom on myself."

Source : Mestisu Radio, Luis John Castro, Facebook

NOTES

(1) It was really Doctor Jesus asking Doctor Jose, as the rest of the dialogue shows.

(2) "I'll bet you" in Chamorro would be rendered "Let us bet" or "Ta aposta."

(3) Hemorrhoids in Chamorro is pinidos.

(4) There is no Chamorro word for arthritis. We would simply say it hurts, or it's stiff.

(5) Chatta means "imperfectly" or "barely."

(6) Saina means more than the ordinary, modern sense of "sir." It's a term of deep respect. It recognizes the person's higher status due to age, place in the family or social position.