PARA LAI-HO

I was on a plane to Saipan and overheard the conversation of two people sitting in my row. It's a very small, cramped plane!

I heard them use a phrase of which I knew the literal meaning, but also knew that they were saying something hidden to me.

"Para lahi-ho," said the man. As is often done, he shortened it to, "Para lai-ho."

Literally, it means "To be my son." But I tried to figure out what was the hidden meaning. Was he going to adopt someone? He seemed somewhat too elderly to adopt a little boy!

Minutes later, the lady he was speaking to said, "Para hagå-ho." She, too, shortened it to "Para hagao."

So, of course, as soon as I got the chance, I asked some older people what they meant.

When one of your children is getting married, their spouse-to-be becomes, after the wedding, your son or daughter.

Technically, they become your yetno or yetna; son or daughter-in-law. Those are terms borrowed from Spanish.

But, as these folks did, one can also say they become your son or daughter. Period.

I think this gives some insight into the way traditional Chamorros view family relations. There is much more blending of family relations than in modern culture. You can imagine my shock when, thirty years ago, I heard people call their father or mother-in-law by their first names, instead of "mom, pop, nang or tang," as I normally hear.