YOU KNOW YOU'RE CHAMORRO WHEN...

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YOU CAN'T KISS THE NIÑO UNLESS YOU SPRAY IT FIRST WITH PAOPAO

We "kiss" with our noses, not our lips.  So making the niño smell nice with paopao (perfume, cologne) is essential.  We buy one bottle and use it just once a year.  Some bottles have lasted for 25 years; some go back to Governor Guerrero's administration.  It's perfume that is used just for the niño; nothing else.

HOW TO KISS THE NIÑO....THE CHAMORRO WAY

1. As you approach the niño, take a hold of at least the head or the foot; many hold on to both.
2. Put your nose to the head of the niño and take a big whiff, the more audible the better.
3. As the priest or tanores (altar boy) attempts to bring the niño back and away from you, thinking you are happy with one whiff, give him a menacing look.  He will offer you the niño again.
4. Put nose on niño's hands, knees and feet and take more whiffs.
5. Put your limosna (donation) in the basket.