Wednesday, September 25, 2013
20 SIGNS YOU'RE NOW A "LOCAL STATESIDER"
My stateside dad has been living on Guam continuously since 1959 and is definitely "local statesider." It got me wondering what are the tell-tale signs that a statesider has become local.
1. Understands that the 35mph signs are just reminders how we used to drive in 1974.
2. Goes to the Talofofo fiesta, even though he or she's not Catholic.
3. Figures out immediately how two people are related.
4. Skips straight to the Assistant Manager, whom s/he knows, rather than speak to the Customer Service Representative.
5. Isn't bothered by geckos anymore; believes they're good because "they eat the bad bugs."
6. Prepares all morning to spend the day at the beach, and once there looks for the most shade.
7. Goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken for the kelaguen.
8. Finds him/herself secretly tuning into the Chamorro radio station while driving alone.
9. Still doesn't speak Chamorro, but adds "nai" at the end of English sentences.
10. When waiting at a red light, doesn't dare look over to the next driver.
11. Knows the name of his/her mayor.
12. Can never go to any store without saying "hi" to at least one person.
13. Knows that "Abe Maria Purisima" is the end of any rosary.
14. Drives down south, passes a carabao without even looking at it.
15. Is single with no family, but still has to visit someone at GMH.
16. Actually has reasons NOT to vote for some senatorial candidates.
17. Bush cuts in zori.
18. Looks for the soy sauce, tabasco or tooth pick in any restaurant of any cuisine.
19. Walks through Micronesia Mall and says to self, "So many statesiders now on Guam!"
20. Has a second fridge; outside the house.